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Topic: A forum member speaks crapish as a mothertongue.< Next Oldest | Next Newest >
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PostIcon Posted on: Apr. 19 2013, 9:52 pm  Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

"Worse than these tragedies, I hate the cliched outpouring of pseudo-support from the masses. Your thoughts and prayers on Facebook and Twitter don't do anything other than make yourself feel a little better for a moment and give you an ego boost. Then, you turn your laptop off and get under the covers for a comfortable night's sleep until it happens again."

I'm sorry, but expressing concern online for 1) people whom I may have known in the race (it turns out, I did), and now, after today's events, 2) an institution that is my alma mater, and 3) a town which is host to my BIRTHPLACE, is not something to be ashamed of or something used as an ego booster. Are you insensitive to the point of being dumb?


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PostIcon Posted on: Apr. 21 2013, 12:48 am Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

This sounds familiar....Similar, almost verbatim to a post I read on Facebook, to which I thought was cold and callous and felt as if there were an underlying reason to create such a reaction from said poster.

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PostIcon Posted on: Apr. 21 2013, 5:18 am Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

Humans, by our nature, are a community species. Empathy is in our blood, and expressing support online in the midst of a tragedy is a natural extension of that, regardless of whether we can "do" anything about it at the moment or not.

Such a comment online is just an expression of bitterness and disdain. It really says more about them than about anyone else at a time like that.  It's not "worse than these tragedies" either way.


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PostIcon Posted on: Apr. 21 2013, 7:47 am Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE


(GoBlueHiker @ Apr. 21 2013, 5:18 am)
QUOTE
Humans, by our nature, are a community species. Empathy is in our blood, and expressing support online in the midst of a tragedy is a natural extension of that, regardless of whether we can "do" anything about it at the moment or not.

Such a comment online is just an expression of bitterness and disdain. It really says more about them than about anyone else at a time like that.  It's not "worse than these tragedies" either way.

I saw it just the opposite.

Humans, by nature, are a self-centered species.  What we do for community is usually done for self-interest.  The community benefit is secondary.  

The comments about the comment are just an expression of the discomfort most people feel when faced with an inconvenient truth.

99% of the people who say "our prays and thoughts are with you" have neither prayed for nor thought much of the subject.  Their expressions are for themselves.
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PostIcon Posted on: Apr. 21 2013, 8:22 am Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

Most all of us have lost loved ones at some point in time.  We've all felt the pain from such a loss.

Of course we hurt to.....maybe not as much as those closer to the victims, but still, we morn too, because we know how much others are hurting, which also brings sorrow to those who do care about the feelings of there fellow man.

Saying I'm sorry is an appropriate response IMO, especially when no other words will fit.

I think many pray.....


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PostIcon Posted on: Apr. 21 2013, 9:48 am Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

All good thoughts. very interesting.
I believe, it's just my personal feelings, that when people say that our prayers and thoughts are with you, they are really saying  they care and have hope. I do believe Americans as a society are very caring and generous people. It is evident in every disaster we face.
I for one hope people never become so selfish that they loose concern for one another. That would truly be sad.


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PostIcon Posted on: Apr. 21 2013, 11:26 am Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

I worry when people don't feel the pain of others. And seeking ways in which we are connected and praying helps combat the helplessness we feel when all the news is so distant that we can't really help in immediate ways. When news travelled slower and the news you got was mainly close at hand, a neighbors illness or a barn burning, it was easier and less depressing because you could spring into action and bring chicken soup or offer your home or participate in a barn raising, now online support is the first reaction but then you can find real ways you can help by donating blood, going where you are needed, sending financial support.

When I teach little children and see their tears over Old Yeller or Nemo's Mom I know empathy is a very human reaction from a young age. I was just a little bothered a couple weeks ago in a second grade class for behavior and emotionally disturbed kids. Nine students in the room, I read the scene in Charlottes web where Wilbur finds out they plan to kill him. There were no tears only laughter and a chorus of "I love Bacon. "  "I want Christmas Ham."

It was eerie and something I'd never seen that young before


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PostIcon Posted on: Apr. 21 2013, 11:31 am Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE


(nogods @ Apr. 21 2013, 7:47 am)
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99% of the people who say "our prays and thoughts are with you" have neither prayed for nor thought much of the subject.  Their expressions are for themselves.

I believe the term is "pharisaical".

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PostIcon Posted on: Apr. 21 2013, 11:57 am Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE


(nogods @ Apr. 21 2013, 6:47 am)
QUOTE

(GoBlueHiker @ Apr. 21 2013, 5:18 am)
QUOTE
Humans, by our nature, are a community species. Empathy is in our blood, and expressing support online in the midst of a tragedy is a natural extension of that, regardless of whether we can "do" anything about it at the moment or not.

Such a comment online is just an expression of bitterness and disdain. It really says more about them than about anyone else at a time like that.  It's not "worse than these tragedies" either way.

I saw it just the opposite.

Humans, by nature, are a self-centered species.  What we do for community is usually done for self-interest.  The community benefit is secondary.  

The comments about the comment are just an expression of the discomfort most people feel when faced with an inconvenient truth.

99% of the people who say "our prays and thoughts are with you" have neither prayed for nor thought much of the subject.  Their expressions are for themselves.

You are both correct IMHO. We are both self centered and social creatures.

Taking even a moment to feel and express empathy is healthy.

As a believer in God when I say my prayer is with someone I do in fact (if only at that time) pray that God would comfort them in some way. I suspect most other folks who say they are praying, sending good vibes, positive thoughts etc. are just as genuine in their expressions of empathy as I am.

Like any other behavior, practicing being empathetic probably helps you to become more empathetic. The fact we have to practice shows us just how self centered a critter we really are.


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PostIcon Posted on: Apr. 21 2013, 11:59 am Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE


(Reminiscence @ Apr. 19 2013, 6:52 pm)
QUOTE
"Worse than these tragedies, I hate the cliched outpouring of pseudo-support from the masses. Your thoughts and prayers on Facebook and Twitter don't do anything other than make yourself feel a little better for a moment and give you an ego boost. Then, you turn your laptop off and get under the covers for a comfortable night's sleep until it happens again."

I'm sorry, but expressing concern online for 1) people whom I may have known in the race (it turns out, I did), and now, after today's events, 2) an institution that is my alma mater, and 3) a town which is host to my BIRTHPLACE, is not something to be ashamed of or something used as an ego booster. Are you insensitive to the point of being dumb?

We all respond in our own ways.

I'd like to think that such a rant is just a human response to the anger one feels after such an seemingly senseless act of violence.
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PostIcon Posted on: Apr. 21 2013, 12:01 pm Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE


(gunslinger @ Apr. 21 2013, 5:22 am)
QUOTE
Most all of us have lost loved ones at some point in time.  We've all felt the pain from such a loss.

Of course we hurt to.....maybe not as much as those closer to the victims, but still, we morn too, because we know how much others are hurting, which also brings sorrow to those who do care about the feelings of there fellow man.

Saying I'm sorry is an appropriate response IMO, especially when no other words will fit.

I think many pray.....

+1
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PostIcon Posted on: Apr. 21 2013, 12:06 pm Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE


(nogods @ Apr. 21 2013, 4:47 am)
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Humans, by nature, are a self-centered species.  What we do for community is usually done for self-interest.  The community benefit is secondary.  

The comments about the comment are just an expression of the discomfort most people feel when faced with an inconvenient truth.

99% of the people who say "our prays and thoughts are with you" have neither prayed for nor thought much of the subject.  Their expressions are for themselves.

-1
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PostIcon Posted on: Apr. 21 2013, 1:11 pm Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

I try to put myself in the victim's situation - would it help me to see that outpouring of sympathy - or not?  I think it would help.

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PostIcon Posted on: Apr. 21 2013, 6:08 pm Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE


(hbfa @ Apr. 21 2013, 12:06 pm)
QUOTE

(nogods @ Apr. 21 2013, 4:47 am)
QUOTE
Humans, by nature, are a self-centered species.  What we do for community is usually done for self-interest.  The community benefit is secondary.  

The comments about the comment are just an expression of the discomfort most people feel when faced with an inconvenient truth.

99% of the people who say "our prays and thoughts are with you" have neither prayed for nor thought much of the subject.  Their expressions are for themselves.

-1

That's what is called "denial"..lol
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PostIcon Posted on: Apr. 21 2013, 6:29 pm Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE


(nogods @ Apr. 21 2013, 6:08 pm)
QUOTE

(hbfa @ Apr. 21 2013, 12:06 pm)
QUOTE

(nogods @ Apr. 21 2013, 4:47 am)
QUOTE
Lawyers, by nature, are a self-centered species.  What we do for community is usually done for self-interest.  The community benefit is secondary.  

The comments about the comment are just an expression of the discomfort most people feel when faced with an inconvenient truth.

99% of the people who say "our prays and thoughts are with you" have neither prayed for nor thought much of the subject.  Their expressions are for themselves.

-1

That's what is called "denial"..lol

There, fixed it for you.


.of course I kid with love. :)


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PostIcon Posted on: Apr. 21 2013, 7:03 pm Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE


(nogods @ Apr. 21 2013, 3:08 pm)
QUOTE

(hbfa @ Apr. 21 2013, 12:06 pm)
QUOTE

(nogods @ Apr. 21 2013, 4:47 am)
QUOTE
Humans, by nature, are a self-centered species.  What we do for community is usually done for self-interest.  The community benefit is secondary.  

The comments about the comment are just an expression of the discomfort most people feel when faced with an inconvenient truth.

99% of the people who say "our prays and thoughts are with you" have neither prayed for nor thought much of the subject.  Their expressions are for themselves.

-1

That's what is called "denial"..lol

Perhaps, from your perspective at least.
From my perspective, your assessment says more about you than it does about human nature.
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PostIcon Posted on: Apr. 21 2013, 8:03 pm Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

It isn't a case of "either / or".  Humans are both self centered and community minded.  It's called ambivalence.  To deny that it is silly.  Now there are huge variations of this among individuals.  There are in fact people who are so self centered they lack any discernable community mindedness and self giving.  These people are usually sociopaths and/or have narcissistic presonality disorder.  There are also some people who lack almost any self love and suffer from enmessment with others or the community at large.  Both extremes are bad.

Rumi


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PostIcon Posted on: Apr. 21 2013, 9:26 pm Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE


(nogods @ Apr. 21 2013, 5:47 am)
QUOTE

(GoBlueHiker @ Apr. 21 2013, 5:18 am)
QUOTE
Humans, by our nature, are a community species. Empathy is in our blood, and expressing support online in the midst of a tragedy is a natural extension of that, regardless of whether we can "do" anything about it at the moment or not.

Such a comment online is just an expression of bitterness and disdain. It really says more about them than about anyone else at a time like that.  It's not "worse than these tragedies" either way.

I saw it just the opposite.

Humans, by nature, are a self-centered species.  What we do for community is usually done for self-interest.  The community benefit is secondary.  

The comments about the comment are just an expression of the discomfort most people feel when faced with an inconvenient truth.

99% of the people who say "our prays and thoughts are with you" have neither prayed for nor thought much of the subject.  Their expressions are for themselves.

You and I seem to have had very different experiences with humanity in general.  I'm thankful of that.

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PostIcon Posted on: Apr. 22 2013, 10:41 am Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE


(JD_TREX @ Apr. 21 2013, 6:48 am)
QUOTE
All good thoughts. very interesting.
I believe, it's just my personal feelings, that when people say that our prayers and thoughts are with you, they are really saying  they care and have hope.

Exactly! I don't lie, or I should say, I do my very best to be honest, ethical, and caring, and when I say, I am sending good thoughts, positive thoughts, virtual hugs, etc.  I certainly mean it with every fiber in my body, and w/o expecting anything in return.

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PostIcon Posted on: Apr. 23 2013, 10:36 pm Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

I'll play devil's advocate for a second and just say I get sick of seeing the same platitudes (from the same people) every time something like this happens.  Pray for Aurora, pray for Newtown, pray for Boston.  Ok, everyone can share pictures of flickering candles on Facebook, but how many put down the keyboard and actually help when they can or make a donation that can make a difference?

Along the same lines, it seems every month is some new "awareness" month - again, sharing prayers or silly chain emails on Facebook does nothing to cure cancer/autism/birth defects/etc.  It's so easy to hit the share button, not so easy to actually do something that makes a difference.


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PostIcon Posted on: Apr. 23 2013, 11:14 pm Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

My thoughts and prayers go out to those on both sides of this discussion.  May you all find comfort and inner-peace in the knowledge that I am deeply concerned about your feelings and opinions.
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PostIcon Posted on: Apr. 23 2013, 11:29 pm Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE


(Firedancer @ Apr. 23 2013, 10:36 pm)
QUOTE
I'll play devil's advocate for a second and just say I get sick of seeing the same platitudes (from the same people) every time something like this happens.  Pray for Aurora, pray for Newtown, pray for Boston.  Ok, everyone can share pictures of flickering candles on Facebook, but how many put down the keyboard and actually help when they can or make a donation that can make a difference?

Along the same lines, it seems every month is some new "awareness" month - again, sharing prayers or silly chain emails on Facebook does nothing to cure cancer/autism/birth defects/etc.  It's so easy to hit the share button, not so easy to actually do something that makes a difference.

Well, how was the user quoted in the first post able to distinguish between those in his/her newsfeed who were being earnest and who have real ties to the area in question, and those who literally send out their "thoughts and prayers" to the victims of every single newsworthy tragedy?

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PostIcon Posted on: Apr. 23 2013, 11:48 pm Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE


(Lamebeaver @ Apr. 23 2013, 8:14 pm)
QUOTE
My thoughts and prayers go out to those on both sides of this discussion.  May you all find comfort and inner-peace in the knowledge that I am deeply concerned about your feelings and opinions.

+1....

I think.


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PostIcon Posted on: Apr. 24 2013, 12:07 am Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

For the record, I only offered my thoughts. I kept or discarded my prayers, forget which.

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PostIcon Posted on: Apr. 24 2013, 10:19 am Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

A lack of empathy is a key trait of the narcissistic personality.

Not only will they not care about the suffering of others, but they will show equal disregard and disdain for anyone who does express emotional sympathy.

They can convincingly fake it, if they think it's necessary, but in the faceless world of the internet they are less inclined to do so.  Consequences being as indirect as they are.

True colors, and all that.
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(Reminiscence @ Apr. 24 2013, 12:07 am)
QUOTE
For the record, I only offered my thoughts. I kept or discarded my prayers, forget which.

Does it matter?  Prayers are thoughts, only conscious thoughts, and if you're conscious at the time you think consciously of them as prayers.

I've given myself a headache now.  Pray for me, as my thoughts now turn to Excedrine.

God, please don't let this be a migraine.
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PostIcon Posted on: Apr. 24 2013, 10:51 am Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

When I talk to God, I am talking to God. I am not just thinking. I don't think to you. I talk to you. God hears my talking out loud or if I talk to him without words. Prayer is talking to God without saying it out loud.

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PostIcon Posted on: Apr. 24 2013, 10:57 am Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

Prayer is having a conversation in your head with someone.

Thinking is having a conversation in your head with yourself.  Unless you're mentally having a conversation in your head with someone else.

For those of us with more than one Someone in our heads it can turn into quite a conference.  :D
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PostIcon Posted on: Apr. 24 2013, 11:10 am Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

I saw the original post on someone else's wall.  I'm not a FB friend of the person who wrote it, so I paid it no further attention.

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(spindle @ Apr. 24 2013, 8:19 am)
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A lack of empathy is a key trait of the male personality.

They can convincingly fake it, if they think it's necessary, to get laid.

fixed if for you  ???
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