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Topic: Removing shoes when entering someone's home< Next Oldest | Next Newest >
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PostIcon Posted on: Nov. 13 2013, 9:22 am  Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

Is this really so bad?
I have to kind of wonder about the lady who says
"It is the height of tacky to invite guests to your home and then require that they remove anything more than outdoor attire."
She doesn't think of shoes as "outdoor attire"?

QUOTE
Is It Rude to Ask Guests to Remove Their Shoes?

With the holiday and snowy season around the corner, one question has been raised in terms of proper etiquette when hosting. Is it considered rude to ask guests to remove footwear at the door? Though this custom is popular in countries such as Thailand and Japan, is not considered the norm in the United States—though that may be changing.

Across the country, it's becoming more common for hosts to insist their household guests leave their footwear at the door. Whether it be due to weather conditions or overall cleanliness, a "no-shoe" policy in many homes is increasing. It may seem like a simple ask of guests, but it has definitely caused both positive and negative reactions from many. Often guests find it inconvenient and a bother, while others comply with less resistance.

VIEW THE VIDEO ABOVE TO LEARN MORE.

According to AP via ABC News, Jessica Gottlieb of Los Angeles is one guest who says she is "disgusted when people want me to take my shoes off in their home. … OK, I get it for upstairs areas or bedrooms or even if you're Japaaneses. But if you're my American friend who just wants a clean floor, forget about it. It's a power play and no, you don't get to undress me."

Jodi R.R. Smith of Mannersmith Etiquette Consluting in Marble head, Massachusetts weighed in her thoughts on the matter saying, "It is the height of tacky to invite guests to your home and then require that they remove anything more than outdoor attire."

Yet, it's becoming more popular for homeowners to insist on following the no-shoe policy. Some hosts avoid the awkward situation by supplying fun and comfortable socks for guests to wear instead.

"Guests young and old ended up loving it. They compared colors, took photos with their fun socks on and were excited to take them home." Some of the women even thanked her for saving them from excruciating high heels," Adi Bittan of California told AP.

If you are insistent on a shoe-free home, then as a host be sure to ask guests in a polite manner. There are several ways to enforce your rule without seeming overbearing or over controlling. According to eHow.com, a good tactic is to insist that guests should feel relaxed in your home and thus, remove their shoes. Additionally, be sure to have a rack or shelf for guests to keep their shoes while in your home.

One thing is certain— if you live in a  household with a no-shoe policy, guests should be given notice before arriving at your home for a party or event.

http://www.homesessive.com/watch....D405221


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PostIcon Posted on: Nov. 13 2013, 9:30 am Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

I think it's kind of tacky and annoying for someone to ask.  To me, friends and good company are more important than having spotless carpet. I guess if you are going to insist, it's nice to give them a warning ahead of time, so they wear good socks ;)

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PostIcon Posted on: Nov. 13 2013, 9:34 am Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

In my house, no carpeting, firewood hauled in every day, and a dog mean we always wear shoes. The floors are cold and might have splinters of wood or blackberry vine.

In someone else's house the worst inconvenience to me is someone might see a hole in my sock. So I just laugh and go along. But my husband has one leg significantly shorter than the other from having one leg in a cast most of his fifteenth year. So his shoes are built up on one leg and save him from twisting pressure on his knee and hips and spine. He doesn't always want to explain that and goes along quietly but is in a lot of pain the next day if we stay long.


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PostIcon Posted on: Nov. 13 2013, 9:41 am Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

How would they like it if I decide not to clean my floor before they come over? After all if you're just going to wear your dirty shoes all over my house why should I? I think that this is something that every household should get to decide and others should respect it even if they don't agree with it.

I also don't understand why they say it's not the norm to take off shoes. I don't know anyone that leaves shoes on in the house around here. So when you walk into someone's house it's just a given that you take your shoes off. Maybe it's just a Midwest thing.
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PostIcon Posted on: Nov. 13 2013, 9:48 am Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

The first I experienced this was in Hawaii, where a large contingent of people of Japanese heritage live.  It was obvious to us in homes of our friends and acquaintances, as there was a shoe rack by the door, or a pile of shoes on the step.  

I have no problems with a host setting the rules for their own home.  In new homes where they provide blue shoe coverings, I do not get upset, so why would it bother me to remove my shoes?  In the past year, I have sold 2 different homes, and the realtors and potential buyers all removed their shoes out of polite concern for keeping my house cleaner.  Tracking in whatever trash is on the bottom of a shoe is not nice, and if there is going to be a large group of people, the trash can mount up.

Just remember who among your friends are the "remove your shoes" type, and wear the proper socks.  It isn't that difficult.  


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PostIcon Posted on: Nov. 13 2013, 9:50 am Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

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PostIcon Posted on: Nov. 13 2013, 9:54 am Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

With the amount of salty slush and snow around here for 6 months of the year, you'd better damn well take off your shoes when entering my house.

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PostIcon Posted on: Nov. 13 2013, 10:04 am Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

I have one friend who's wife insists upon guests removing their shoes.  I tend not to visit their home if I can avoid it.

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PostIcon Posted on: Nov. 13 2013, 10:19 am Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

Growing up we always changed out of our "outdoor" shoes/boots when we came in the house from working. Mom tended to get upset if we tracked mud and/or manure into the house.

I still remove my shoes in the garage and put on house shoes when I've been working in the yard or garden.

When I visit others I follow their customs/requests, it's their house after all.


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PostIcon Posted on: Nov. 13 2013, 10:27 am Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE


(Chuck D @ Nov. 13 2013, 7:19 am)
QUOTE
Growing up we always changed out of our "outdoor" shoes/boots when we came in the house from working. Mom tended to get upset if we tracked mud and/or manure into the house.

I still remove my shoes in the garage and put on house shoes when I've been working in the yard or garden.

When I visit others I follow their customs/requests, it's their house after all.

Pretty much this.  My boys never wear shoes in the house, so many assume we don't allow it.  But I have cold feet and other issues, so I always wear shoes or slippers, usually shoes (for the support).  I try to remember to take something to change into when visiting those who don't wear shoes indoors, but I can totally see the desire to keep outdoor dirt outside.

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PostIcon Posted on: Nov. 13 2013, 11:28 am Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

I think it's really irritating, but I would just do it.
I live in the land of flip flops anyway, so I'm not sure bare feet would be much better on the carpet.


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PostIcon Posted on: Nov. 13 2013, 11:29 am Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

If I have a party, I expect my floor to need cleaning afterward. I don't bother to ask. I have four children so I'm constantly having to vacuum and steam clean anyway. In general, we do remove our shoes. Guests are not required to though.

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PostIcon Posted on: Nov. 13 2013, 11:37 am Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

I do it if requested but it kind of irritates me.  Of course, it depends on the situation.  If my shoes are really dirty or muddy, then I understand.  If not, then I don't understand the issue.  Seem a bit obsessive and controlling to me.  But then it's their home, but I tend not to visit it so often.

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PostIcon Posted on: Nov. 13 2013, 11:44 am Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

Hmm if you don't want to remove your shoes when someone asks it, maybe you could ask them to wash your feet if you take your shoes off, that would be the more traditional thing to do wouldnt it? lol

Shoes are a double edged sword I think. They may make you look nicer (well by todays trendy society standards) but at the same time they can deform your feet making the true you look worse, and encase your feet to make them hot and moist (the perfect breeding ground for bacteria) which is why they dont typically smell so nice either after removing shoes that you've been wearing all day.


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PostIcon Posted on: Nov. 13 2013, 11:47 am Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

Other than avoiding tracking mud in I don't care, other's homes where they insist on that are rare in my experience, that's the sort of affectation I avoid when possible.
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PostIcon Posted on: Nov. 13 2013, 12:07 pm Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE


(Adirondackiteer @ Nov. 13 2013, 11:44 am)
QUOTE
Hmm if you don't want to remove your shoes when someone asks it, maybe you could ask them to wash your feet if you take your shoes off, that would be the more traditional thing to do wouldnt it? lol

Shoes are a double edged sword I think. They may make you look nicer (well by todays trendy society standards) but at the same time they can deform your feet making the true you look worse, and encase your feet to make them hot and moist (the perfect breeding ground for bacteria) which is why they dont typically smell so nice either after removing shoes that you've been wearing all day.

I'd make you put shoes on before entering my house. :p

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PostIcon Posted on: Nov. 13 2013, 12:11 pm Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE


(Chuck D @ Nov. 13 2013, 10:19 am)
QUOTE
I still remove my shoes in the garage and put on house shoes...

That's pretty much what everyone does out here. Heck, that's even what I do at the office.

When I was a kid, everyone wore overshoes/galoshes. I don't see them much anymore.


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PostIcon Posted on: Nov. 13 2013, 12:25 pm Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

We live in the land of mud and gravel and I paid good money for my hickory floors.  Heck yeah take your shoes off.  Ninety percent of the visitors I have wear lug sole shoes.  Most of them are courteous enough to remove their shoes without being asked.  The phone, satellite dish and HVAC contractors all carry booties.  It's a regional behavior I guess.

When I host a neighborhood association meeting I make sure there is a runner for guest to wipe their shoes on, unless they're muddy and then it's off with their shoes.  We're usually just sitting around a table so there isn't a lot of walking and scuffing.

Sometimes we have friends over to eat and listen to music.  That group likes to dance and move around and they prefer to be in their socks or bare feet anyway.

If someone is going to be in and out (perhaps someone forgot my wallet or jacket or hat, again) we don't ask him to remove his clean shoes.
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PostIcon Posted on: Nov. 13 2013, 12:39 pm Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

I personally don't wear shoes in the house - I'd go barefoot all the time if it were practical.  But we have mostly tile in the house so I don't care what people wear.

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PostIcon Posted on: Nov. 13 2013, 2:10 pm Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

I live in Canada, and from November to May, winter boots are the norm. How would you feel is someone was to tromp all over your clean carpets in their muddy, snowy boots?

Usual practice is to remove boots and shoes unless the hostess suggests otherwise.
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PostIcon Posted on: Nov. 13 2013, 3:45 pm Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

I don't require it in my house, although most people remove their shoes automatically when they see the shoe basket by my door.  It isn't really there because of guests, but because I got sick of our own shoes being spread all over the floor all the time (we're a whole family of shoe haters).  I have several friends/relatives who have a "please remove shoes" sign, and it doesn't bother me to comply.  
Personally, I'd rather have people wipe their shoes than walk around on my floors with sweaty bare feet or stinky socks.  IF the feet/socks are clean and dry, great, but that is not always the case.


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PostIcon Posted on: Nov. 13 2013, 5:00 pm Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

You would hope that your guests are considerate enough that if their footwear is muddy, covered in snow, or wet, that they would do it anyway.  I know I would, and actually do it when visiting someone else's home.  Except for children, who never think of such things, so I would ask them, or if someone didn't have the consideration to do it, if their footwear was pretty grungy, I'd probably comment on it.  Otherwise, no, I don't ask guests to remove their shoes when entering.
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PostIcon Posted on: Nov. 13 2013, 5:52 pm Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

I automatically take off my shoes when I enter my own or anyones house. I never ask people to take off their shoes when they visit but it seems most do.
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PostIcon Posted on: Nov. 13 2013, 6:01 pm Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

Couple of thoughts...

1.  Yes, it is up to the host to decide whether guests can wear their shoes into the house.
2.  But to me, it is 'tacky' to ask -- unless it's rainy / muddy outside.
3.  When you come to my house trudging in normal dirt, I'd rather inconvenience myself a little than you, my guest.

But when visiting others, I'll take my cue from the hosts.  If they wear shoes inside, then so do I.  But if not, then I'll automatically take mine off too (to save them from even asking).  But I'll admit -- I much prefer hosts who insist there is no need to take off shoes.   :;):


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PostIcon Posted on: Nov. 13 2013, 6:21 pm Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

I was taught it was poor manners to NOT remove one's shoes when entering a guest's home.  I always feel weird when people tell me I can leave them on in an otherwise clean looking home.
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PostIcon Posted on: Nov. 13 2013, 6:27 pm Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE


(shpongle @ Nov. 13 2013, 3:21 pm)
QUOTE
I was taught it was poor manners to NOT remove one's shoes when entering a guest's home.  I always feel weird when people tell me I can leave them on in an otherwise clean looking home.

Same here.

In my condition (can't bend my knees), I still make a point to remove them before I enter the main room. I have left them on when I see (my in-laws) wear shoes.


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PostIcon Posted on: Nov. 13 2013, 6:29 pm Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

For my house just wear your shoes unless it's snowing like hell outside.  For other peoples houses I just watch what ever the home owner is doing.  If they take theirs offer I off to take off mine as well.
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PostIcon Posted on: Nov. 13 2013, 7:55 pm Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

I guess I don't get how it's tacky for a host to ask their guests to follow the rules of the house.  

In my opinion the people who get annoyed by the request are selfish and inconsiderate.


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PostIcon Posted on: Nov. 13 2013, 7:57 pm Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

In my house/apartment/wherever I am living, I don't care one way or the other if you take your shoes off or leave them on, unless they are really muddy/dirty/wet.

I know some folks who prefer that guests take their shoes off before going in their house. I don't mind abiding by their rules. It's really no big deal to me. Besides, I like being barefoot (or wearing socks).


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PostIcon Posted on: Nov. 13 2013, 8:52 pm Skip to the previous post in this topic.  Ignore posts   QUOTE

If I'm going to visit somebody who I know doesn't wear shoes in their house, I bring my slippers.
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