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Topic: What's your excuse?< Next Oldest | Next Newest >
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PostIcon Posted on: Nov. 19 2013, 12:05 am  Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

Most of you know what I do for a living.  Been at it for 34 years now and I'm pretty sure that I've heard them ALL!  I really have walked away laughing and telling the violator to have a great day after hearing their excuse.  (I'll tell you what has actually worked later...)

Got a good one?


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PostIcon Posted on: Nov. 19 2013, 12:27 am Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

Driving across country this summer my GF and I were pulled over.

Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over?
Me: No.
Officer: You were a bit close to that car in front of you.
Me: Huh? (genuine look of confusion considering I had been driving in the far right lane, had cruise control on 3 miles below the speed limit, and had cars passing me.)
Officer: Well, I didn't recognize your licence plate. Where are you from?
Me: Um, Vermont.
Officer: Well, don't worry. I'll let you off with a warning.
Me: Um, ok.
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PostIcon Posted on: Nov. 19 2013, 2:24 am Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

The Dave Chappelle's friend, Skip's defence: "I'm sorry officer, I didn't know I couldn't do that."

Rumi


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PostIcon Posted on: Nov. 19 2013, 2:26 am Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

Haven't gotten a ticket in years...

I used to like driving fast  -- and that was the reason for those few times that I got pulled over.  I never gave excuses -- and that alone netted me good "discounts" pretty much every time.  "You were 20 mph over the limit, but I'll cite you for 10".

The one time I got away scot free was the time the lady cop received an emergency call and had to take off without writing me up.  She wasn't happy...


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PostIcon Posted on: Nov. 19 2013, 4:50 am Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

I haven't been pulled over since 1971, haven't had a ticket since 1969. One ticket in my entire life. I drive like I want to keep it that way.

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PostIcon Posted on: Nov. 19 2013, 6:41 am Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

Pulled for about 15mph over and a running a redlight (I did almost stop to make sure no one was coming) outside Portsmouth VA.
"I'm in the CG and there's been an emergency recall for a SAR for the USCGC Cuyahoga" and got a high speed escort to the gates of the base.


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PostIcon Posted on: Nov. 19 2013, 7:17 am Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

Officer: "Do you know how fast you were going?"

Me:  "63.82"

Officer: "I had you at 66"

Me: (holding up hand held GPS) "I'm actually doing a test to see how accurate my speedometer is.  When was the last time your radar was calibrated?"
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PostIcon Posted on: Nov. 19 2013, 7:18 am Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

My response to "do you know why I pulled you over" is always "No."

My response top why were you speeding, if I was speeding is, "I was in hurry to get to the donut shop before you."
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PostIcon Posted on: Nov. 19 2013, 7:18 am Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

"This bike has no speedometer, sir."

52 on a ten speed.


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PostIcon Posted on: Nov. 19 2013, 7:21 am Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

Cop: I clocked you on RADAR doing 51 in a 35 zone.
Me: What? Are you serious?
Cop: That's what I show.
Me: This is a '71 Volkswagen Beetle with a flaky carburetor and we're going up hill. This car won't DO 51 miles per hour. I'm pretty sure your RADAR must be off.

He let me go.
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PostIcon Posted on: Nov. 19 2013, 7:34 am Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

Speaking as a person who go a LOT of tickets in my younger days, and got way more breaks than I deserved, if I am pulled over, I just ask what is wrong, and take whatever ticket he is going to give. No excuses, and no begging. If he got me fair, I deserve the ticket. If he screwed up, I'll tell the judge. Many of my friends are cops, and they all have interesting stories about excuses. They all say that if the guy is not a jerk, and the offense is not a biggie, that they will usually cut some slack. If the guy is a real knot-head, he is getting a ticket. Period.
:)  :)  :)
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PostIcon Posted on: Nov. 19 2013, 8:40 am Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

A friend and I were in Jackson Hole last week. Had just pulled in after a 3.5 hour drive and turned onto a road that went from 55mph to 35 mph. We were immediately doing 55mph without thinking. And we were immediately pulled over.

Cop walked up and my friend said, "how much over was I?" Cop, "20 mph." Friend, "sorry." Cop, "I'll check out your info and be back in a moment."... he walks back and hands back the license and insurance info with "slow down and have a great day."

:)

I've always found be honest and polite the best policy. No excuses.

I also have a CDL license and the cops in MT don't like to jam-up guys with a CDL. I've only been pulled over a couple times and always had the amount I was over lowered to just 10mph which, here, doesn't go on one's record and is a simple $20 fine.

Montana Troopers, as a whole, are the most professional, courteous, fair-minded group of cops I've ever been around.

But I do miss the days when we had no daytime speed limit on the highway!


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PostIcon Posted on: Nov. 19 2013, 9:35 am Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

I've used the Jedi mind trick with an astonishingly good success rate. Seriously... finger wave and everything. Been pulled over about 12 times in various states in the northeast, with only one ticket. And I swear that one was only because the blackflies were eating the trooper alive when we was talking with me. Only one cop realized that I was trying to Jedi mind trick him, and he thought it was so funny that he let me go.

But for some reason, the cops in CO don't buy it. Been pulled over 3 times in 3 years, got ticketed twice*, both in speed traps near Pagosa Springs. One more and I'm banned from driving in CO.

*The one who let me go was a lady trooper in some "elk corridor" near Buena Vista. She ended up chatting with me for 15 minutes about my solo backpacking experiences.


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PostIcon Posted on: Nov. 19 2013, 10:54 am Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

Got my first ticket last June.  I was proving that you don't need any props to drive distracted.  I was so far inside my head that I not only failed to notice I was doing 45 in a 30 zone, but didn't process what the cop was doing there.  I didn't argue.  I felt like asking the officer to give me a dope-slap as well.  As far as I'm concerned, that level of abstraction is worse than speeding.

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PostIcon Posted on: Nov. 19 2013, 11:01 am Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

I got a ticket on my way into SF because I didn't realize there was a toll bridge coming up, that I needed cash for a tollbooth, I had a 19 ft. trailer behind me and there was nowhere to pull over or turn around. Personally, I think it was bull pucky. I told her I was from out of state and assumed I could just use a credit card.

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PostIcon Posted on: Nov. 19 2013, 12:31 pm Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

This goes all the way back to about 1976 when the speed limit on the Interstates was 55 mph.
I got stopped (riding a motorcycle) outside of Santé Fe, New Mexico:

Officer:  “Do you know how fast you were going ?”
Me:  “No sir.  Anything above 80 my speedometer wobbles so bad I can’t get an accurate reading.”

Well, the answer was 96 mph.  The officer was very kind.  He wrote me up for 94 so I could pay the ticket by mail.  At 96 it would have had an automatic reckless driving charge attached to it and I would have had to make an appearance before a judge.


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PostIcon Posted on: Nov. 19 2013, 2:44 pm Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

Funny answers.  I too have not had a ticket in many years (20?).  I have been pulled over a number of times, though.  What works for me -- I immediately acknowledge that I was wrong, that I knew I was wrong when I did it, and that I have no excuses.  As in,

"I know, Officer.  I was speeding.  I could bore you, but I won't offer excuses.  My dad was a cop, I know the law.  I was wrong and I knew I was wrong when I did it.  I do apologize.  I will slow down.  If you feel you should write me a ticket, I will accept it and pay it without question."  

I usually get a smile, and a kind verbal warning.
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PostIcon Posted on: Nov. 19 2013, 3:05 pm Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

My dad was once pulled over doing 85 in a 60 through the desert.  As soon as he saw the police car, he pulled over and popped the hood.  The officer approached and asked if there was some kind of problem.  "Yeah, I just can't seem to get any speed out of this thing today."  Sheepish grin.  He got a warning.

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PostIcon Posted on: Nov. 19 2013, 3:21 pm Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

Let me preface this by saying - I know nothing about cars, other than where the gas goes, and I'm just fine with that.  I have AAA and a cell phone ;)

I flew home from Seattle one year for Thanksgiving and had rented an SUV.  At some point during a night out, someone said to me "must be a nice change from that 4 cylinder you usually drive" (I had no idea what a 4 cylinder was)

Flash forward to the next morning, I'm doing the drive of shame after a LONG night out at the bars, reeking of cigarettes, runny makeup, etc.  and I get pulled over for speeding.  I look at the officer and politely explain that I usually drive a 4 cylinder and I'm not used to driving this V6.  Let go with a warning....WINNING!


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PostIcon Posted on: Nov. 19 2013, 3:32 pm Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

The last time I was pulled over was sometime in the 80s.   We were on our way to church with all the kids in the back seat and were running a little late.  Going down a long hill I exceeded the speed limit of 25 by about 8 mph - so says the cop.  Probably true. When he asked what was the hurry, my wife turned on the tears and blubbered we were just on our way to church and we were late and she had to sing in the choir all the while holding her Bible in plain view.  The cop looked at his partner, rolled his eyes and let us off with a warning.  Whatever works, I guess.

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PostIcon Posted on: Nov. 19 2013, 3:59 pm Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

I've only gotten pulled over once, for doing 43 in a 35 in Laramie, WY.  I said sorry, I just moved here, hadn't been down this street before and hadn't seen the speed limit sign.  I was telling the truth, and also just going the speed of the other traffic.  Anyway, the lady cop let me go Scott free.

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PostIcon Posted on: Nov. 19 2013, 4:03 pm Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

PD: "Don't you know this is a one way street?"
Me: "But I was only going one way"
PD: "Didn't you see the arrows?"
Me: "Dude..... I didn't even see the Indians!"


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PostIcon Posted on: Nov. 19 2013, 4:14 pm Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

My last interaction was a few years ago.

Flashing lights in mirror....

Me: Good morning officer, is something wrong?
Cop: Did you notice your speed?
Me: Uhm, no...
Cop: You were doing 32 in a 30 zone.
Me: ....
Cop: You really anxious to get to work today?
Me: Are you serious? I was doing 32?
Cop: ...
Me: (looking for the rookies laughing behind the bushes and not seeing them)
Cop: Ease off, ok? Kids are at the bus stops.

And he let me go.

To this day I am convinced I was the butt the of some joke.


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PostIcon Posted on: Nov. 19 2013, 5:29 pm Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

Thanksgiving trip to the inlaws about 25 years ago, been on the road 4+ hours only about 10 miles from trips end, The  kids are yelling and crying, wife is yelling and crying. All I want to do is get this trip over ,was doing about 80 in a 65. Highway Patrol caught me as I topped a hill, when his lights came on my wife really started yelling, which caused the kids to increase their volume.

Trooper came to the rolled down window and asked me to step out of the car, once we were away from the car he said " I think you need a break from them".

We talked a few minutes , turned out he was a long time friend of my in-laws. He told me to slow down and wished me a happy Thanksgiving.


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PostIcon Posted on: Nov. 19 2013, 6:15 pm Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

Best story yet, Chuck!

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PostIcon Posted on: Nov. 19 2013, 10:05 pm Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE


(tomas @ Nov. 19 2013, 2:14 pm)
QUOTE
My last interaction was a few years ago.

Flashing lights in mirror....

Me: Good morning officer, is something wrong?
Cop: Did you notice your speed?
Me: Uhm, no...
Cop: You were doing 32 in a 30 zone.
Me: ....
Cop: You really anxious to get to work today?
Me: Are you serious? I was doing 32?
Cop: ...
Me: (looking for the rookies laughing behind the bushes and not seeing them)
Cop: Ease off, ok? Kids are at the bus stops.

And he let me go.

To this day I am convinced I was the butt the of some joke.

I was once pulled in the panhandle of OK for doing 56 in a 55 and the cop had to turn around to chase me down!
I started laughing and told him I wanted a ticket just so I could show up in court with it. He looked sheepish and let me go with a warning  "to watch my speed".


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PostIcon Posted on: Nov. 19 2013, 10:49 pm Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

Great answers everyone!  Chuck's is one that sometimes actually works, depending on IF the cop is also a father of multiple spawn and has also had a loooong day.

Don't flash cleavage if you've got it. That's a dead givaway to an older cop that you've been stopped before and that you're probably a "professional" speeder.   :p  The older cop may be even more apt to write you an invitation to see the judge.  It very well MAY work on a young rookie, though.  

Here's what will usually work, IF you play it right.  (Straight from The Book of Sooper Sekrit Cop Stuff.   Shhhhh!)  Everyone hates bees.  Get yourself a dead bee and carry it around with you in the car.  If you get stopped for speeding, act all flustered and tell the officer that a you're deathly allergic to bee stings and this here bee (Show him the dead bee) was trying to kill you.  The dead givaway to the cop, though, is if your bee has dust all over it.  (Time to get a fresh bee...)  ???

Actually, simply being polite and acknowledging your "Accidental Indescretion of The Lead Foot" without EVER arguing will get you off with a warning many more times that not. (Unless you're doing 96 MPH...)

Caveat:  If you get pulled over by a motorcycle officer, you're probably gonna get a ticket, no matter what you say.  Pretty much all they do for their whole day is traffic emphasis.  Just take it and say thank you, even though you don't really mean it.  They know it too.

That's it.  We're just trying to do our job that YOU pay us for.  Smile and wave the next time you see us running radar.  Please use all your fingers while waving, though.  :D


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PostIcon Posted on: Nov. 19 2013, 10:53 pm Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

Forgot the other good one, HD.  A cousin of mine got pulled over just north of Tacoma.  She explained that she had a bladder infection, was racing to the rest area, and if he wanted to follow her there and write a ticket that was fine, but she really couldn't wait.  He let her go.

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PostIcon Posted on: Nov. 19 2013, 10:56 pm Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE


(hoosierdaddy @ Nov. 19 2013, 10:49 pm)
QUOTE
Caveat:  If you get pulled over by a motorcycle officer, you're probably gonna get a ticket, no matter what you say.  Pretty much all they do for their whole day is traffic emphasis.  Just take it and say thank you, even though you don't really mean it.  They know it too.

Hm.  Makes me suspicious of your bona fides.  I ride a Harley, have for years.  I've been treated well by LE on many occasions, including being given a "pass" when I should well have been ticketed.  The guys one bikes seem to see more brotherhood than adversity.  Maybe you don't ride...?
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PostIcon Posted on: Nov. 19 2013, 10:59 pm Skip to the previous post in this topic.  Ignore posts   QUOTE


(RebeccaD @ Nov. 19 2013, 7:53 pm)
QUOTE
Forgot the other good one, HD.  A cousin of mine got pulled over just north of Tacoma.  She explained that she had a bladder infection, was racing to the rest area, and if he wanted to follow her there and write a ticket that was fine, but she really couldn't wait.  He let her go.

I forgot about that excuse which works, too!  

Clocked a guy doing 75 in a 40.  I lit him up and he skidded to a stop in front of a little roadside restaurant.  He tossed his wallet back to me as he was sprinting for the front door, yelling, "Explosive diarrhea!"  I waited for him and just handed his wallet back, saying, "Sorry, man!"


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